>> I'm so glad that this finally forced Danys to make a decision.<<
Yay! :D
>> Then again, I love that the female characters were smooth with a polycule and he was the one who needed to adjust. <<
Well, the women already knew that they were poly or at least poly-compatible. I don't think Danys had thought about it until he met them, so then he had to explore whether that might work for him or not. And if you don't know how it does work -- including whole new emotions like compersion -- then you have quite a lot of stuff to investigate before you can make an informed decision. Do you like doing things in family groups, or do you prefer quiet romantic moments as a couple? Do you have diverse needs that spread out well across different people, or is it a pretty tight cluster? And you need to know yourself pretty well too.
For me, compersion includes things like finding people who'd enjoy going on a roller coaster or to an Ethiopian restaurant with my partner. Judging from the reactions I sometimes get, it's really a feeling that most people not only don't have but can't comprehend.
>> And there's Dave, LOL. There's something going on behind the scenes, because by now it's pretty clear that he keeps all romantic or potentially sexual relationships VERY casual. Let me noodle on that. <<
He's part of the polycule, though, and that's a commitment. I think the issue is that he already has certain parts of his life secure, like being with Molly and Bethan both as a family and as part of a zoomcrew, and he is not open to giving up those things for a new sexual/romantic relationship. Trouble is, most people want to be the center of someone's life, and they really do not like being told that there's already big stuff in place which they would have to fit with. So most of Dave's opportunities have been for casual fun; he hasn't found anyone compatible -- or probably even interested -- in the long haul.
Conversely, Danys has been intrigued by the idea of a long-term relationship, starting with Bethan. He just wasn't sure if he could handle the rest of their life setup.
These are things that will likely come up in counseling. Danys will have the chance to learn skills that will help in a polyfamily. Dave will get to examine his situation and how someone else might fit into it. They'll all have opportunities to talk about the present and what they want from the future, and to see if there are gaps they need to fill in skills or activities. And in T-America it'll be easier for them to find a counselor who will do that and not fuss about their life choices.
Re: LOVELY!
Yay! :D
>> Then again, I love that the female characters were smooth with a polycule and he was the one who needed to adjust. <<
Well, the women already knew that they were poly or at least poly-compatible. I don't think Danys had thought about it until he met them, so then he had to explore whether that might work for him or not. And if you don't know how it does work -- including whole new emotions like compersion -- then you have quite a lot of stuff to investigate before you can make an informed decision. Do you like doing things in family groups, or do you prefer quiet romantic moments as a couple? Do you have diverse needs that spread out well across different people, or is it a pretty tight cluster? And you need to know yourself pretty well too.
For me, compersion includes things like finding people who'd enjoy going on a roller coaster or to an Ethiopian restaurant with my partner. Judging from the reactions I sometimes get, it's really a feeling that most people not only don't have but can't comprehend.
>> And there's Dave, LOL. There's something going on behind the scenes, because by now it's pretty clear that he keeps all romantic or potentially sexual relationships VERY casual. Let me noodle on that. <<
He's part of the polycule, though, and that's a commitment. I think the issue is that he already has certain parts of his life secure, like being with Molly and Bethan both as a family and as part of a zoomcrew, and he is not open to giving up those things for a new sexual/romantic relationship. Trouble is, most people want to be the center of someone's life, and they really do not like being told that there's already big stuff in place which they would have to fit with. So most of Dave's opportunities have been for casual fun; he hasn't found anyone compatible -- or probably even interested -- in the long haul.
Conversely, Danys has been intrigued by the idea of a long-term relationship, starting with Bethan. He just wasn't sure if he could handle the rest of their life setup.
These are things that will likely come up in counseling. Danys will have the chance to learn skills that will help in a polyfamily. Dave will get to examine his situation and how someone else might fit into it. They'll all have opportunities to talk about the present and what they want from the future, and to see if there are gaps they need to fill in skills or activities. And in T-America it'll be easier for them to find a counselor who will do that and not fuss about their life choices.