ysabetwordsmith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ysabetwordsmith) wrote2018-12-27 12:18 am
ysabetwordsmith) wrote2018-12-27 12:18 am
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Emotional Intimacy Question: Giver, Taker, Matcher
Folks have mentioned an interest in questions and conversations that make them think. So I've decided to offer more of those. This is the current list.
11. Are you a giver, a taker, or a matcher? Are there areas in your life where you act like one type, and other areas where you act like another? [Here’s the Giver/Taker Test]
I strongly prefer balanced relationships. I resent people trying to take advantage of me, which makes me completely incompatible with others who think my status is lower than theirs. If people are too giving, I get suspicious. Conversely, the circumstances where I will relentlessly pursue my own interests are those with an imbalance already in play that I'm trying to even out. If I feel that society has shortchanged me, I'll take back whatever I can. I allow some swing in a relationship because nobody's on the ball all the time. But it has to go back and forth eventually, or it's not a healthy relationship.
11. Are you a giver, a taker, or a matcher? Are there areas in your life where you act like one type, and other areas where you act like another? [Here’s the Giver/Taker Test]
I strongly prefer balanced relationships. I resent people trying to take advantage of me, which makes me completely incompatible with others who think my status is lower than theirs. If people are too giving, I get suspicious. Conversely, the circumstances where I will relentlessly pursue my own interests are those with an imbalance already in play that I'm trying to even out. If I feel that society has shortchanged me, I'll take back whatever I can. I allow some swing in a relationship because nobody's on the ball all the time. But it has to go back and forth eventually, or it's not a healthy relationship.
no subject
I found some of these questions really hard to answer, confronted by a sense that either the question or the answers were so biased towards certain responses that I had to rationalize myself into the suggested POV to without enough info to give a great answer. For some answers, I might think one way and act another, and the context of how long the situation lasted might change how I dealt with it. It was weird that so many answers came across as so petty. Do people actually do that, who are actually self-aware enough that they could answer these questions correctly? (Like, "I make my partner uncomfortable through my body language because I don't want to do the thing" answers... I've been under the impression that folks who do that don't really process they're projecting that to others, but maybe I'm wrong?)