>>This ... is very strange. Very good, but very strange.<<
I'm glad it got you thinking.
>> I think I'm projecting one-person-I-know's feelings of agonizing discomfort (at best) when misgendered because I've been the emotional support for the aftermath of that button getting hit a lot of times, and that's the source of the sense of dissonance I had reading this poem that mostly goes away when I think about it more analytically.<<
That can happen.
>> Because when I think about other transfolk I know, there's a lot more variation in how they feel about presenting as their assigned gender. <<
There really is. Some seem able to switch between presentations more or less fluently, and may wind up identifying as genderfluid. Others feel so strongly identified with one gender that the other is miserable for them. Cal seems to be somewhere between the two. Demonstrably MTF, much happier as Calliope ... yet unwilling to give up Calvin, at least so far. Not my business, but like Vagary, I worry a little because maintaining a masculine front is obviously a lot of work.
>> One person remarked that it makes her feel safe and in control when she is perceived as 'boring cis guy, nothing to see here, move along' and wants privacy about revealing any of her real self. <<
There is that.
>> I'm so far towards the agender corner of genderqueer, in my Aspie way, that I don't quite grok what someone might get out of Being A Gender as opposed to Playing A Character With An Outfit, but I know there are genderfluid people who need and want to express aspects of themselves that correlate strongly with more than one gender. <<
Being a gender is peaceful and comfortable. Pretending to be a gender is hard work at best, and soul-destroying at worst. Even if it's a gender you enjoy playing, you have to do a bunch of stuff very differently than normal -- although apparently some people do find crossdressing to be relaxing, so go figure.
>> It's fascinating to see how Calvin is both not-a-different-person and not-quite-the-same-person as Calliope. <<
I feel the same way about it. Some of the shifts are physical -- a male body and a female body have different shapes, hormones, etc. and that can create different preferences. The social dynamics may differ, and some genderfluid people mention that they relate to people in different ways when en femme than when en homme. I suspect for Cal and Vagary, there's a half-step of remove with Calvin that makes it easier to deal with Vagary because it was Calliope who got caught in the major tangles.
>> Unlike Vagary, though, I'd probably be a lot more comfortable hanging out with Calliope. <<
*looks at superhera* *looks at guy who works in craft store* ... I might go with Calvin, for fun, although I could talk gender activism with Calliope.
Thank you!
I'm glad it got you thinking.
>> I think I'm projecting one-person-I-know's feelings of agonizing discomfort (at best) when misgendered because I've been the emotional support for the aftermath of that button getting hit a lot of times, and that's the source of the sense of dissonance I had reading this poem that mostly goes away when I think about it more analytically.<<
That can happen.
>> Because when I think about other transfolk I know, there's a lot more variation in how they feel about presenting as their assigned gender. <<
There really is. Some seem able to switch between presentations more or less fluently, and may wind up identifying as genderfluid. Others feel so strongly identified with one gender that the other is miserable for them. Cal seems to be somewhere between the two. Demonstrably MTF, much happier as Calliope ... yet unwilling to give up Calvin, at least so far. Not my business, but like Vagary, I worry a little because maintaining a masculine front is obviously a lot of work.
>> One person remarked that it makes her feel safe and in control when she is perceived as 'boring cis guy, nothing to see here, move along' and wants privacy about revealing any of her real self. <<
There is that.
>> I'm so far towards the agender corner of genderqueer, in my Aspie way, that I don't quite grok what someone might get out of Being A Gender as opposed to Playing A Character With An Outfit, but I know there are genderfluid people who need and want to express aspects of themselves that correlate strongly with more than one gender. <<
Being a gender is peaceful and comfortable. Pretending to be a gender is hard work at best, and soul-destroying at worst. Even if it's a gender you enjoy playing, you have to do a bunch of stuff very differently than normal -- although apparently some people do find crossdressing to be relaxing, so go figure.
>> It's fascinating to see how Calvin is both not-a-different-person and not-quite-the-same-person as Calliope. <<
I feel the same way about it. Some of the shifts are physical -- a male body and a female body have different shapes, hormones, etc. and that can create different preferences. The social dynamics may differ, and some genderfluid people mention that they relate to people in different ways when en femme than when en homme. I suspect for Cal and Vagary, there's a half-step of remove with Calvin that makes it easier to deal with Vagary because it was Calliope who got caught in the major tangles.
>> Unlike Vagary, though, I'd probably be a lot more comfortable hanging out with Calliope. <<
*looks at superhera* *looks at guy who works in craft store* ... I might go with Calvin, for fun, although I could talk gender activism with Calliope.