ysabetwordsmith: Shaeth is drunk (one god)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This poem came out of the September 2017 [community profile] crowdfunding Creative Jam. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] alexseanchai. It also fills the "treasure" square in my 9-1-17 card for the Pirate Fest Bingo.  This poem has been sponsored by [personal profile] bairnsidhe.  It belongs to the series One God's Story of Mid-Life Crisis.


But why is all the rum gone?

The prayer skittered over Shaeth's mind
like a mouse running over his boot.

He lifted his head, seeking a direction,
and then it came again, even louder.

But WHY is all the RUM gone?!

The voice had always been there,
one among the countless throng,
fervent and whiny and persistent.

The throng was long gone now,
and the penetrating voice
therefore more notable.

Agricole, that was his name.

Shaeth had never paid any attention
to him before. He had never
been relevant before.

He was relevant now.

With a sigh, Shaeth stood up
and collected the necessary provisions.
Then he walked down to the docks.

He went from tavern to tavern,
listening intently, until ...

I really wish I had some rum.

Shaeth found Agricole
in the Treasure Chest,
arguing with the barkeeper
about the availability of
his preferred drink.

"Come on," Shaeth said,
putting the rum in front of him.

Agricole stared at him for a moment.
Then his jaw dropped, and he quickly
prostrated himself on the floor.

"Get up. Follow me -- and don't
forget your rum," Shaeth said.
Then he walked away.

Agricole scurried to follow him,
rum firmly in hand. "My lord?"
he said. "I've always prayed to you --
all I ever wanted was to be your treasure --
but you never answered before.
Why me? Why now?"

"I used to be the God of Evil,
and now I'm the God of Drunks,"
Shaeth said. "I was never convinced
of your usefulness as an evil minion ...
but you are most certainly a drunk."

* * *


Attention seeking can be a symptom of psychological distress. Childhood neglect encourages the development of attention-seeking personalities. Understand how to stop being an attention-seeker and discourage attention-seeking behavior.

People often join gangs for support and cults for attention. In a healthy society, most people meet these needs in more beneficial ways. The more dysfunctional the society, the more attractive these shadier substitutes become.

"Why is the rum gone?" has become a meme, originally appearing in Pirates of the Caribbean.

Agricole is a type of rum.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-12-19 04:59 am (UTC)
technoshaman: Tux (Default)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
LOLOLOL! I'd say poor Agricole just leveled up. Whether he wants to or not... ;)

Re: Yes ...

Date: 2017-12-19 05:55 am (UTC)
technoshaman: Tux (Default)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
None of us can. This isn't *always* bad...

(no subject)

Date: 2017-12-19 05:21 am (UTC)
technoshaman: Tux (Default)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
*reads about rhum agricole* I'd say so! Rum was never evil per se, but this stuff is the only kind of rum with an AOC! This is NOT your daddy's cheap Bacardi!

(*)"Appellation d’Origine Contrôlée" (protected designation of origin) - it is against French law - jealously protected by the rest of the EU - to sell anything labeled Martinique Rhum Agricole that didn't actually *come* from there... just as champagne can only come from Champagne (and be made a certain way). This dude doesn't want just any rotgut, he's got *standards*... I think Shaeth can work with that.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-12-19 03:59 pm (UTC)
mdlbear: the positively imaginary half of a cubic mandelbrot set (Default)
From: [personal profile] mdlbear
Well, it's only rhum agricole from Martinique that's protected -- the generic term "rhum agricole" just means rum distilled from sugar cane juice rather than molasses. (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhum_agricole#Overview)

Still, it sounds like a pretty classy drink -- I'll have to go looking for some.


Date: 2017-12-19 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Why is the rum,ALWAYS gone!!!! But why is the time gone!!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-12-19 08:44 pm (UTC)
bairnsidhe: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bairnsidhe
I like Shaeth. He's a good sort. I think his paladin will have a thing or two to say to Agricole about the attention-seeking thing, as she's a practical sort who knows treasures aren't worth a hill of beans compared to useful things, like, well, a hill of beans.

I also think it says something about the world they live in that as God of Evil he had loads of prayers to sort through, and as God of Drunks he has few enough he can answer most individual ones.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-12-20 12:34 am (UTC)
readera: A tree on a animated background of snow falling (Default)
From: [personal profile] readera
That is very telling! I wonder that other gods are in the same boat.

Extremely Mundane Detail

Date: 2018-02-13 06:24 am (UTC)
heartsinger: (Default)
From: [personal profile] heartsinger
The right icon appears, but it does not actually say that it's part of One God's Story of Mid-Life Crisis in the text. ETA: nor is any mention made of who sponsored it.
Edited (noticed another thing) Date: 2018-02-13 06:28 am (UTC)

Re: Extremely Mundane Detail

Date: 2018-05-27 05:50 pm (UTC)
heartsinger: (Default)
From: [personal profile] heartsinger
Still need those pesky details (sponsor & series should be explicitly mentioned, not just the image)


ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)

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