>> The problem with that line of thinking, though, is that if people don't know that asexuality exists/is something that's possible as an identity, they very likely could attribute their unhappiness to failing a sexual/romantic relationships (as I did for years), instead of being unhappy because the relationships you do have are not honored in our culture the way sexual relationships are.<<
The flow chart goes like this:
Person uses pr0n instead of having sex. Is person unhappy?
No -> No problem. It is okay to be happy having no sex. Person may be asexual or some other identity.
Yes -> Problem. Does person identify as asexual?
No -> Problem could be due to mis-identifying as sexual when person is actually asexual. Explore identity to see if this is the case. Problem could be due to sexual and/or relationship malfunctions. Explore those to see if anything is not working correctly.
Yes -> Problem is likely due to self and/or society having less-healthy views of asexuality. Consider working on one or both of those.
>>I mean: it's great the DSM5 now has a caveat that low sex drive is to no longer be considered a medical disorder, if a person self-identifies as "asexual."
But people who've never heard of the word "asexual" aren't going to call themselves that... And they'll still be subject to having their orientation medicalized.<<
Hell, everything is subject to being medicalized, it's why that book exists. It's not based on science, it's based on what drugs and services can be sold to insurance companies. The logical thing to do would be check for asexuality -- and check to make sure the person has a reasonable idea what that even is -- but I doubt they'll do that because it would lose them money. Just look at how badly homosexuality has been handled and expect they'll fumble everything else similarly. Sure, it's nice to have the exception but using it requires knowing oneself and being able to fight for that identity when someone else has the power to write down whatever they please. I don't expect that to go very well. I'd say, if you're having sexual identity issues, look for a therapist who advertises support of a wide diversity of identities. Because otherwise you're likely to get the standard, which tends to suck.
*ponder* Actually, I've seen so many people realize their identity from reading stories about said identity, that's my recommendation. You're sexually confused or unhappy about your identity? Stack up a whole bunch of literature and start reading. It has a pretty good chance of clarifying some things for you.
Hmm. Now I really want to get a list or two and see how hard I can bingo them just from what I've written. Because then I could just say, "Here, read your way down the links in this post."
Re: Thoughts
The flow chart goes like this:
Person uses pr0n instead of having sex. Is person unhappy?
No -> No problem. It is okay to be happy having no sex. Person may be asexual or some other identity.
Yes -> Problem. Does person identify as asexual?
No -> Problem could be due to mis-identifying as sexual when person is actually asexual. Explore identity to see if this is the case. Problem could be due to sexual and/or relationship malfunctions. Explore those to see if anything is not working correctly.
Yes -> Problem is likely due to self and/or society having less-healthy views of asexuality. Consider working on one or both of those.
>>I mean: it's great the DSM5 now has a caveat that low sex drive is to no longer be considered a medical disorder, if a person self-identifies as "asexual."
But people who've never heard of the word "asexual" aren't going to call themselves that... And they'll still be subject to having their orientation medicalized.<<
Hell, everything is subject to being medicalized, it's why that book exists. It's not based on science, it's based on what drugs and services can be sold to insurance companies. The logical thing to do would be check for asexuality -- and check to make sure the person has a reasonable idea what that even is -- but I doubt they'll do that because it would lose them money. Just look at how badly homosexuality has been handled and expect they'll fumble everything else similarly. Sure, it's nice to have the exception but using it requires knowing oneself and being able to fight for that identity when someone else has the power to write down whatever they please. I don't expect that to go very well. I'd say, if you're having sexual identity issues, look for a therapist who advertises support of a wide diversity of identities. Because otherwise you're likely to get the standard, which tends to suck.
*ponder* Actually, I've seen so many people realize their identity from reading stories about said identity, that's my recommendation. You're sexually confused or unhappy about your identity? Stack up a whole bunch of literature and start reading. It has a pretty good chance of clarifying some things for you.
Hmm. Now I really want to get a list or two and see how hard I can bingo them just from what I've written. Because then I could just say, "Here, read your way down the links in this post."