ysabetwordsmith: (Fly Free)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This is the freebie for the October 2017 [community profile] crowdfunding Creative Jam. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] mama_kestrel. It also fills the "autumn" square in my 10-1-17 card for the Fall Festival bingo, and with that, I have made bingo down the B column! \o/

"Digging In"

A true friend is someone who,
when you tell them to bring a shovel,
they don't ask if you're planting roses
or burying your ex,

they just come dressed to dig.

It's tulips, this time,
fringed and French,
parrots and peonies,
Darwins, Greigii, Fosteriana.

It's tulips, this time,
their brown bulbs
whispering triumph,
against autumn winds,

but it isn't always.

* * *


Tulips are planted in fall to bloom in spring.  They come in many different styles.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-10-16 05:01 am (UTC)
technoshaman: Tux (Default)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
LOLOLOLOL!!! Oh, yes. That might well be on towards `ohana.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-10-16 06:06 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] mashfanficchick
I really, really liked this one. And I agree with technoshaman about 'ohana.

Re: Thank you!

Date: 2017-10-16 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] mashfanficchick
I LOVE the idea of 'ohana! It describes so many of the people in my life who I have no other word for, like:
• the guy--man, I should say--I call my brother and refer to as pseudo!bro, who lives across an ocean, yet sent MY mother, who he calls Mommy, a computer for her birthday.
• said pseudo!bro's ex-roommate, who's been to more family dinners than any of my sister's boyfriends (though I expect that to change now that my sister's engaged).
• and pseudo!bro's ex-girlfriend, whose greatest support came from my grandparents, and who, without consciously lying, got the day off for my grandfather's funeral by telling her boss that her grandpa died.
• my bestie, [personal profile] silver_chipmunk, who might as well be blood-related for all the time we spend together doing "family" things with EACH OTHER's blood-families.
• my beloved "almost nephew"--the son of a pair of my closest friends--who calls my mother his "de facto grandma"; and his new baby sister, who doesn't call anyone anything yet, but takes up plenty of room in my heart anyway.
• my ex-roommate, who everyone thinks is my sister and might as well be.
• and all the other members of our joint 'ohana, who are family in my heart, if not in traditional American societal ways.
Edited Date: 2017-10-16 07:00 pm (UTC)

Re: Thank you!

Date: 2017-10-17 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] mashfanficchick
Another term you may find useful, then, is hanai. It refers to informal adoption. So a hanai sister is a woman who fills the social role of a sister for you, just without the haole paperwork.

OH! OH! For the first time, I have a direct word to explain what my "brother" is to me: he's not my "brother" in quotes; that makes it sound like the relationship is fake when it's so very, very real. He is my hanai brother: kin to me on my mother's side. I am his hanai Sister; my mother, his hanai Mommy; my grandparents, his hanai Grandma and Grandpa. My cousins are his cousins, and my aunts and uncles are his, too. My hanai brother, Joshua.

Thank you so, so much for this information! You are always so good at sharing your vast knowledge, often exactly when it is needed. It's one of my favorite things about you and your stories, and you have displayed it beautifully here. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

Re: Thank you!

Date: 2017-10-17 02:19 am (UTC)
mama_kestrel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mama_kestrel
English is really appallingly limited in terms for relationships. Yiddish does better, having words for things like "my child's mother-in-law" (machteneste is the best I can do at transliteration) or "my child's spouse's sibling's spouse". And of course, there's always the over-arching "Mishpocha". If you can draw a line, no matter how many dots are along it, that person is included. So I can go from myself, to my mom's uncle's wife's sister's husband's cousin's niece's son...and get invited to the bar mitzvah.

But that still doesn't allow for family-by-choice, so I believe I will be adopting "hanai" myself. Thank you!

Re: Thank you!

Date: 2017-10-18 04:31 am (UTC)
mama_kestrel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mama_kestrel
Difficult? Try impossible. That map bears as much relationship to Yiddish familial terminology as a hundred year old oak does to a kindergartener’s drawing of an apple tree.

There really was some validity to my mother’s lament that my in-laws didn’t understand “family”. By my mom’s terms, they didn’t. I was their daughter, full stop, without qualifications like “in-law”, but that didn’t extend to my folks, let alone my aunts, uncles and cousins.

Re: Thank you!

Date: 2017-10-18 07:53 pm (UTC)
mama_kestrel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mama_kestrel
>>Maybe try it on a computer? You can do multiple dimensions there.<<

I could draw it, at need. I can and do keep it in my head with no trouble at all. (Then again, I visualize non-Euclidean geometry postulates in my head....) It's just that it doesn't lend itself to that sort of simple linear binary. Basically it simply takes the branchings that would be other family trees and links them. So where my husband's family tree shows him marrying me, and then charts in our son, in Yiddish I'd take it back up from me and show named relationships between his parents and mine, and between me and his sibling's spouses and their parents.

It leads very quickly to renting an apartments clubhouse for "family" dinners and "small" weddings for which only 200 people are invited because it's "just family". *wry smile*


ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)

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