>> First, the whole piece struck just the right balance between exposition, emotional support, <<

Yay!

>> and Shiv's bleeding-ulcer reality tunnel. That's impressive. <<

That is such an apt description. And he's spent his life complaining that his tummy hurts, while the adults just shrug and say "Then don't eat so much candy." >_<

>> THIS. So very much THIS is why I think Shiv is a >malleable character. He can be something other than a MINDLESS thug. <<

:D He actually is quite responsive to the people around him. He just tends to drag his feet because his past experiences have been so awful. He's learning.

>> I try to achieve a similar tone when I write him, but I think your bluntness works better. <<

I love the way you write him, though. It's good to explore different moods and perspectives.