ysabetwordsmith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ysabetwordsmith) wrote2015-05-12 02:24 am
ysabetwordsmith) wrote2015-05-12 02:24 am
Entry tags:
On the Proper Use of Safe Spaces
So people are picking on college students again for needing safe spaces. I think the world would be a better place if we picked on people less and supported people more. In that interest ...
* Safe spaces are good for everyone. They provide an accepting, open atmosphere where people can be themselves. They soothe frazzled nerves and prevent people from overextending themselves until they make bad decisions, snap at someone, dissolve in tears, or have a panic attack. It is better for people to learn the early warning signs of trouble so they can stop before bad things happen. This kind of self-regulation is a necessary skill for a healthy, happy life. Have a quiet room where people can relax and recharge. Think of it as a circuit breaker for people, so that a sudden surge doesn't wreak havoc.
* Lots of people have had crappy experiences. Rape, child abuse, PTSD, poverty, chronic illness, all kinds of shit -- most of it invisible from the outside -- means that people need to manage their resources. They don't always have the energy to cope with something uncomfortable, because life has already beaten them bloody. That means either they hole up and avoid stressors, or they go out and take the damage, both of which are bad outcomes. If you think that college makes it okay to hurt people, or that folks with a rough past don't deserve an education, go fuck yourself.
* What a safe space does is make it possible for people to push their limits MORE without hurting themselves in the process. It respects agency. People can tolerate more stress when they have the power to stop if it gets to be too much for them. This supports further growth. Conversely, if you force people past their limits, that makes them feel helpless in addition to doing more damage, which reduces their ability to cope with future challenges.
* Along with safe spaces, people also need coping skills. The people most in need of them often don't have them, because the same things that fuck people up in the first place tend to interfere with healthy development. Not everyone is lucky enough to enter school with all the resources they need. School is for learning, not beating up on people because they don't already know things. So, teach coping skills! Make sure students know where they can get self-help information and a counselor if they need that. Put coping resources in the safe space. This means that people can use the safe space to regroup, rather than trying to avoid challenging topics forever.
* I have cleaned up after way too many teachers who didn't care if their lectures hurt people. I have had total strangers bawling on my shoulder because somebody thought it was a grand idea to show slides of dismembered corpses and then make fun of anyone who was upset by that. When people are in pain, they are not learning. As in physical exercise, there are soft and hard limits. If you think it's okay to torment your students, you should not be teaching. It's okay to push soft limits, if you have someone's consent; it is not okay to break hard limits. That kind of mistreatment violates the social contract between teacher and student, making it impossible to do your job. So don't be a dick.
* Here's how I address this stuff as a writer and a teacher, because I handle nightmare fuel like genocide, rape, cannibalism, torture, etc. I let people know that we're going to be discussing intense topics and a general idea what's coming up. If they need to leave, they can. It's up to them whether this is something they can work with today. If not, here are some alternative assignments you can choose that will cover similar concepts for the class outline but allow you to avoid your worst triggers. For those choosing to participate in today's discussion, plan ahead. Have a shortlist of coping skills if you start to feel upset: close your eyes, take a deep breath, play with a fidget toy, doodle in your notebook. Leaving is farther down, and should not be your first option, but use it if you need it. Do you want to be alone then, or do you want someone to help you ground? You can come back and try this again another day if you wish. We will be talking about difficult subjects in an open, respectful manner. We will deal with whatever comes up, without shutting down the discussion. If you make it through the material, great. It comes with resources for further learning. Here are some things you can do to address the aftermath (if we're discussing a historic issue) or work on solving the problem (for current issues). Don't just shovel out challenging ideas without giving people the tools and techniques they need to understand and deal with it. Lay the foundation before you start putting heavy things on it, or you will have a pile of wreckage to deal with and it will not be fun or productive for anyone. But if people trust you because you have taken good care of them and handled the hard stuff well in the past, they will follow you through the valley of death and it will be awesome.
* Don't turn away from the difficult things in the world. Don't throw other people under the bus. Instead, face challenges directly and help each other to overcome them. It is okay if you need help, or if you need more than one attempt to scramble over a particular hill. Keep trying and don't give up. Also keep an eye on each other, so that you can give and receive support, because helping others can make you feel better. A lot more problems get solved that way, with a lot less heartache in the process.
* Safe spaces are good for everyone. They provide an accepting, open atmosphere where people can be themselves. They soothe frazzled nerves and prevent people from overextending themselves until they make bad decisions, snap at someone, dissolve in tears, or have a panic attack. It is better for people to learn the early warning signs of trouble so they can stop before bad things happen. This kind of self-regulation is a necessary skill for a healthy, happy life. Have a quiet room where people can relax and recharge. Think of it as a circuit breaker for people, so that a sudden surge doesn't wreak havoc.
* Lots of people have had crappy experiences. Rape, child abuse, PTSD, poverty, chronic illness, all kinds of shit -- most of it invisible from the outside -- means that people need to manage their resources. They don't always have the energy to cope with something uncomfortable, because life has already beaten them bloody. That means either they hole up and avoid stressors, or they go out and take the damage, both of which are bad outcomes. If you think that college makes it okay to hurt people, or that folks with a rough past don't deserve an education, go fuck yourself.
* What a safe space does is make it possible for people to push their limits MORE without hurting themselves in the process. It respects agency. People can tolerate more stress when they have the power to stop if it gets to be too much for them. This supports further growth. Conversely, if you force people past their limits, that makes them feel helpless in addition to doing more damage, which reduces their ability to cope with future challenges.
* Along with safe spaces, people also need coping skills. The people most in need of them often don't have them, because the same things that fuck people up in the first place tend to interfere with healthy development. Not everyone is lucky enough to enter school with all the resources they need. School is for learning, not beating up on people because they don't already know things. So, teach coping skills! Make sure students know where they can get self-help information and a counselor if they need that. Put coping resources in the safe space. This means that people can use the safe space to regroup, rather than trying to avoid challenging topics forever.
* I have cleaned up after way too many teachers who didn't care if their lectures hurt people. I have had total strangers bawling on my shoulder because somebody thought it was a grand idea to show slides of dismembered corpses and then make fun of anyone who was upset by that. When people are in pain, they are not learning. As in physical exercise, there are soft and hard limits. If you think it's okay to torment your students, you should not be teaching. It's okay to push soft limits, if you have someone's consent; it is not okay to break hard limits. That kind of mistreatment violates the social contract between teacher and student, making it impossible to do your job. So don't be a dick.
* Here's how I address this stuff as a writer and a teacher, because I handle nightmare fuel like genocide, rape, cannibalism, torture, etc. I let people know that we're going to be discussing intense topics and a general idea what's coming up. If they need to leave, they can. It's up to them whether this is something they can work with today. If not, here are some alternative assignments you can choose that will cover similar concepts for the class outline but allow you to avoid your worst triggers. For those choosing to participate in today's discussion, plan ahead. Have a shortlist of coping skills if you start to feel upset: close your eyes, take a deep breath, play with a fidget toy, doodle in your notebook. Leaving is farther down, and should not be your first option, but use it if you need it. Do you want to be alone then, or do you want someone to help you ground? You can come back and try this again another day if you wish. We will be talking about difficult subjects in an open, respectful manner. We will deal with whatever comes up, without shutting down the discussion. If you make it through the material, great. It comes with resources for further learning. Here are some things you can do to address the aftermath (if we're discussing a historic issue) or work on solving the problem (for current issues). Don't just shovel out challenging ideas without giving people the tools and techniques they need to understand and deal with it. Lay the foundation before you start putting heavy things on it, or you will have a pile of wreckage to deal with and it will not be fun or productive for anyone. But if people trust you because you have taken good care of them and handled the hard stuff well in the past, they will follow you through the valley of death and it will be awesome.
* Don't turn away from the difficult things in the world. Don't throw other people under the bus. Instead, face challenges directly and help each other to overcome them. It is okay if you need help, or if you need more than one attempt to scramble over a particular hill. Keep trying and don't give up. Also keep an eye on each other, so that you can give and receive support, because helping others can make you feel better. A lot more problems get solved that way, with a lot less heartache in the process.