>>Plus which, there is the cycle of abuse to consider. Anywhere from 35% to 75% of abusers had been abused as children. Around 30%-40% of abuse survivors go on to commit abuse themselves. What's rarely noticed is that a majority of survivors successfully break the cycle and treat other people gently. What I would like to explore more is how they make that break, so we can improve the odds.<<

Well, in my case, it's that I didn't want anybody else to go thru what I did.

It may have also helped that I managed to build an internal "model" of my abuser and use it to figure out in advance how she'd react to things. So I could put the right "spin" on stuff if I couldn't avoid it.

Didn't always work, but it helped.

Alas, that seemed to have stunted my ability to figure *other* people out...