( Read more... )
Warning: As you can guess from the title, this poem relies a lot of vulgar humor. It's also a riff on the classic "Feminism and Other F-Words." Click through for the bleu.
( Read more... )
Warning: This poem contains some intense and intimate topics that some readers may find distasteful. Highlight for details, some of which are spoilers. It features graphic description of menstruation and related gender dysphoria, extremely miserable symptoms including cramps and mood swings, inadvertent outing of Victor's trans nature because the werewolves can smell sex markers, Victor freaking out over all of that, and other angst. But the people around him are actually quite supportive and trying to help as best they can. So there is fluff in the end. Please consider your taste and headspace before deciding whether this is something you want to read.
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
'Curses!' Said the Cursor
My computer is cursed.
Maybe it's the cursor.
I changed it last week from
an arrow to a magic wand.
I got the instructions off Ehow
and the graphic looks great.
Now it rains sparks when I click
and sometimes my programs vanish.
Most of the sparks disappear, but
some are starting to accrue in corners.
I've tried uninstalling it, but
so far with no effect.
'Curses!' said the cursor
and went about its business.
There's more space on my hard drive
than since just after I bought it.
But then I remember the university and
the teacher who wouldn't help during office hours.
Carefully I load the new cursor onto a thumbdrive
and sweep all the curslings in there after it.
Then I label the drive "Private Game: Do Not Play"
and leave it on a desk near the teacher's office.
It won't be long now, and meanwhile,
my computer is back to normal.
"The Curse of the Red Baron"
It is the nature of humanity
to combat horror with humor.
Thus Charles Schulz took
Manfred von Richthofen and
pitted him against a flying beagle.
Even when the Bloody Red Baron
shot him down, Snoopy just
shook his fist at the sky and cried,
"Curse you, Red Baron!" or
"Curses, foiled again!"
Comic strips led to movies
and a series of pop songs,
continuing the adventures of
Snoopy vs. the Red Baron.
The catchy melodies spoke of
conflict and persistence and even,
in the Christmas special,
the strange chivalry of
"the knights of the air."
In the end, Snoopy finally
got his revenge and shot down
the Red Baron, only to see him
standing atop a hill, swearing
ferociously in German.
Long after World War I
has faded into history's
relentless march of battles,
the Red Baron stands out
as a vivid personage and
the curse of the skies ...
exeunt, pursued by a beagle.
* * *
Snoopy is a cartoon beagle drawn by Charles Schulz.
The historic figure Manfred von Richthofen appeared as Snoopy's nemesis, the Red Baron.
Their combat began in comic strips such as this, followed by songs. The Royal Guardsmen started with the lyrics for "Snoopy vs. the Red Baron" and later "The Return of the Red Baron" and "Snoopy's Christmas."
Exit, Pursued by a Bear is an entertainment trope with its roots in the Shakespeare line "Exeunt, pursued by a bear." It is a traditional way of indicating defeat or death without actually showing dismemberment onstage. It also belongs to the comic tradition due to the sheer incongruity, and has often been played for laughs.
Starting now, the Poetry Fishbowl is open! Today's theme is "curses." I will be checking this page periodically throughout the day. When people make suggestions, I'll pick some and weave them together into a poem ... and then another ... and so on. I'm hoping to get a lot of ideas and a lot of poems.
You can interpret "curses" loosely from metaphysical ones to religious ones, metaphoric ones, bad things that just happen, vulgar words, and so forth.
Click here to read the linkback poem "The Thread of the Seasons" (Hart's Farm, 18 verses available).
What Is a Poetry Fishbowl?
Writing is usually considered a solitary pursuit. One exception to this is a fascinating exercise called a "fishbowl." This has various forms, but all of them basically involve some kind of writing in public, usually with interaction between author and audience. A famous example is Harlan Ellison's series of "stories under glass" in which he sits in a bookstore window and writes a new story based on an idea that someone gives him. Writing classes sometimes include a version where students watch each other write, often with students calling out suggestions which are chalked up on the blackboard for those writing to use as inspiration.
In this online version of a Poetry Fishbowl, I begin by setting a theme; today's theme is "curses." I invite people to suggest characters, settings, and other things relating to that theme. Then I use those prompts as inspiration for writing poems.
I'm practicing cyberfunded creativity. If you enjoy what I'm doing and want to see more of it, please feed the Bard. The following options are currently available:
1) Sponsor the Fishbowl -- Here is a PayPal button for donations. There is no specific requirement, but $1 is the minimum recommended size for PayPal transactions since they take a cut from every one. You can also donate via check or money order sent by postal mail. If you make a donation and tell me about it, I promise to use one of your prompts. Anonymous donations are perfectly welcome, just won't get that perk. General donations will be tallied, and at the end of the fishbowl I’ll post a list of eligible poems based on the total funding; then the audience can vote on which they want to see posted.
2) Swim, Fishie, Swim! -- A feature in conjunction with fishbowl sponsorship is this progress meter showing the amount donated.
3) Buy It Now! -- Gakked from various e-auction sites, this feature allows you to sponsor a specific poem. If you don't want to wait for some editor to buy and publish my poem so you can read it, well, now you don't have to. Sponsoring a poem means that I will immediately post it on my blog for everyone to see, with the name of the sponsor (or another dedicate) if you wish; plus you get a nonexclusive publication right, so you can post it on your own blog or elsewhere as long as you keep the credits intact. You'll need to tell me the title of the poem you want to sponsor. I'm basing the prices on length, and they're comparable to what I typically make selling poetry to magazines (semi-pro rates according to Duotrope's Digest).
0-10 lines: $5
11-25 lines: $10
26-40 lines: $15
41-60 lines: $20
Poems over 60 lines, or with very intricate structure, fall into custom pricing.
4) Commission a scrapbook page. I can render a chosen poem in hardcopy format, on colorful paper, using archival materials for background and any embellishments. This will be suitable for framing or for adding to a scrapbook. Commission details are here. See latest photos of sample scrapbooked poems: "Sample Scrapbooked Poems 1-24-11"
5) Spread the word. Echo or link to this post on your LiveJournal, other blog, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Digg, StumbleUpon, or any other social network. Useful Twitter hashtags include #poetryfishbowl and #promptcall. Encourage people to come here and participate in the fishbowl. If you have room for it, including your own prompt will give your readers an idea of what the prompts should look like; ideally, update later to include the thumbnail of the poem I write, and a link to the poem if it gets published. If there is at least one new prompter or donor, I will post an extra freebie poem.
1) I customarily post replies to prompt posts telling people which of their prompts I'm using, with a brief description of the resulting poem(s). If you want to know what's available, watch for those "thumbnails."
2) You don't have to pay me to see a poem based on a prompt that you gave me. I try to send copies of poems to people, mostly using the LJ message function. (Anonymous prompters will miss this perk unless you give me your eddress.) These are for-your-eyes-only, though, not for sharing.
3) Sponsors of the Poetry Fishbowl in general, or of specific poems, will gain access to an extra post in appreciation of their generosity. While you're on the Donors list, you can view all of the custom-locked posts in that category. Click the "donors" tag to read the archive of those. I've also posted a list of other donor perks there. I customarily leave donor names on the list for two months, so you'll get to see the perk-post from this month and next.
4) After the Poetry Fishbowl concludes, I will post a list of unsold poems and their prices, to make it easier for folks to see what they might want to sponsor.
Feed the Fish!
Now's your chance to participate in the creative process by posting ideas for me to write about. Today's theme is "curses." I'll be soliciting ideas for enemies, frenemies, nemesis, witches and wizards, soldiers, sailors, construction workers, other people who swear liberally, arguing, casting curses, breaking curses, finding hexed artifacts, learnign to swear, swearing in foreign languages, getting into trouble, deciding to help someone, getting out of trouble, enemy mine, enemies to friends, enemies to lovers, blighted lands, haunted castles, magical workrooms, evil temples, ships, battlefields, construction sites, gang hangouts, supervillain lairs, cursed artifacts, types of curses, haunted dolls, hex bags, robber traps, shapeshifting, curses that cure, family curses, dictionaries of profanity, "Curses, foiled again!" and poetic forms in particular. I do have the first edition of Lewis Turco's The Book of Forms which covers most common and many obscure forms.
I'll post at least one of the fishbowl poems here so you-all can enjoy it. (Remember, you get an extra freebie poem if someone new posts a prompt or makes a donation.) The rest of the poems will go into my archive for magazine submission. Linkbacks reveal verses of "The Thread of the Seasons" (Hart's Farm).
I thought this might be an effective way to attract some new readers. It's also useful for developing some of my series with female leads or other characters as a prevailing feature. Consider The Adventures of Aldornia and Zenobia, Hart's Farm, Path of the Paladins, Schrodinger's Heroes, and Walking the Beat. In other series such as An Army of One, Fledgling Grace, and Monster House there's at least one F&F or F/F relationship amongst a more widely scattered cast and plot. Polychrome Heroics is kind of a unique case because 2/6 of Damask (Mira and Maze) are female; and of course it has other kick-ass superheras. Fortressa's Pit Group is all-female, and within that she has a tighter queerplatonic relationship with Socket developing.
If you'd like to sponsor a particular square, especially if you have an idea for what character, series, or situation it would fit -- talk to me and we'll work something out. This is a good opportunity for those of you with favorites that don't always mesh well with the themes of my monthly projects. I'll still post some of the fills for free, because I'm using this to attract new readers; but if it brings in money, that means I can do more of it. That's part of why I'm crossing some of the bingo prompts with other projects, such as the Poetry Fishbowl.
Underlined prompts have been filled.
LADIES BINGO CARD
|A Murder to Solve||Taxes||Opposites Attract||Frankencritters||Left Brain / Right Brain|
|Unnatural (Events, Weather, Beings) |
[hold in P.I.E. for Ng_moonmoth]
|Trapped!||Race Against Time||Chaos and Order||One of the Dispossessed|
|Gen Fic||Kinetic Energy||Wild Card||Dusk||Pre- Slash / Femslash / Het|
|Graduation||Love without Hope||Pretending to be married||Soulmates||Asia|
|Child Endangerment||Someone gains Purpose||Festivals and Celebrations||Orgasm||Something is Destroyed / Demolished|
If you'd like to sponsor a particular square, especially if you have an idea for what character, series, or situation it would fit -- talk to me and we'll work something out. I've had a few requests for this and the results have been awesome so far. This is a good opportunity for those of you with favorites that don't always mesh well with the themes of my monthly projects. I may still post some of the fills for free, because I'm using this to attract new readers; but if it brings in money, that means I can do more of it. That's part of why I'm crossing some of the bingo prompts with other projects, such as the Poetry Fishbowl.
Underlined prompts have been filled.
HALLOWEEN / SAMHAIN BINGO CARD
|Drunk Girl/Guy||Autumn||Smoke||Emergency Nurses / Workers Day||Balance|
|Freak Accident||Recombinant DNA||Hex||Creepy||Frankenstein|
|Van Helsing / Monster Hunter||Dia de los Muertos||WILD CARD||Stock your car / house for emergencies||Vampires|
|Listen to the Nerd if You Want to Live||Thing in the Closet||Shadows||It Started With a Group of Teenagers||Gothic|
|I Got The Instructions off Ehow||Make-up||Shapeshifter||Mummy||Feast / Celebrate Food|
Dates for Round Five:
July 1: Signups open
July 15: Bingo posting begins
Oct 15: Last day to request a first card
Oct 31: Last day to request a second card
Oct 31: Last day to post bingos for This round
Nov 1: Amnesty beings
Dec 1: discussion period begins
Dec 31: Amnesty ends
Dec 31: discussion period ends
Jan 1: Next round begins
I'm hoping to attract some new readers through this fest. People are starting to show interest in specific prompts. If you'd like to sponsor a particular square, especially if you have an idea for what character, series, or situation it would fit -- talk to me and we'll work something out. I may still post some of the fills for free, because I'm using this to attract new readers; but if it brings in money, that means I can do more of it. That's part of why I'm crossing some of the bingo prompts with other projects, such as the Poetry Fishbowl. Any other ideas for monetizing this? Let me know.
Underlined prompts have been filled.
TROPE BINGO CARD
|May December Romance||kidfic||rivals to lovers||handcuffed / bound together||time travel|
|huddle for warmth||wingfic||telepathy / mindmeld||locked in||sharing a bed|
|unexpected friendship||Hurt /comfort||FREE SPACE||trust and vows||Deal with the Devil|
|food and cooking||transformations||celebratory kiss||reunion||secret twin/doppelganger|
|against all odds||poor communication skills||slavefic||Happy ending||genderswap|
Note: "curse" may be interpreted loosely, as a magical hex, a vulgar word, etc.
I have a linkback poem, "The Thread of the Seasons" (17 verses, Hart's Farm).
If you're interested, mark the date on your calendar, and please hold actual prompts until the "Poetry Fishbowl Open" post next week. (If you're not available that day, or you live in a time zone that makes it hard to reach me, you can leave advance prompts. I am now.) Meanwhile, if you want to help with promotion, please feel free to link back here or repost this on your blog.
( New to the fishbowl? Read all about it! )
( Read more... )