ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This poem came out of the February 4, 2014 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from [personal profile] chordatesrock and LJ user Siliconshaman. It also fills the "online dating / relationship" square in my 2-1-14 card for the [community profile] cottoncandy_bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored out of the general fund, based on an audience poll. It belongs to the series An Army of One.


"Aren't You Already There?"


The Lacuna is hard on relationships,
and it's hard for a lot of reasons.

There's the war, hanging between
Carinan and Orion forces,
between here-and-now
and home-before.

There is space itself,
vast black void that
swallows everything whole
and keeps people apart.

There are subtler things, too,
the differences of personality
and thought pattern that
make it hard for people
to understand each other.

Lacuna means emptiness, after all,
a hollow where something was but is not,
or could be but has not yet become.

Even meeting someone is awkward,
but that's what the ciphernet is for,
and people do manage.

It takes time to build trust,
to cultivate love,
and people can be impatient:
Aren't you already there?

Love isn't all you need
to bring people together;
it takes know-how
as well as want-to.

Affection isn't the same thing
as a willingness to do
what's best for someone,
regardless of whether
that's what you want yourself.

Even if it were the case,
being willing to do right by someone
doesn't mean having the skill
or the knowledge to make it work.

Sometimes you fall in love
not with the actual person
but with an imaginary ideal,
a better version of them
that exists only in your mind.

Sometimes you fall in love
but you don't know what to say or do
and so the connection never quite
completes the circuit.

So just because someone
shows affection for someone else,
doesn't necessarily make the relationship good.

Still the ciphernet sparkles with possibilities
as people reach out across the distance,
hearts shining like stars.

Can parsecs truly separate you
from the people you care about?
If you want to be with someone you love,
aren’t you already there?

This, too, is true in the Lacuna:
there is nothing keeping you apart.

* * *

Notes:

"Can miles truly separate you from friends? If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?"
-- Anonymous

Long-distance relationships have their ups and downs. They are more difficult to sustain, but then again, love that can survive this can survive almost anything else. There are tips on making a long-distance relationship succeed.

Online relationships are becoming more common, and people practice them for various reasons. Text relationships have their own flavor, from love letters to chat rooms. You can make real friends online. Also understand how to find and maintain an online relationship.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-02-10 04:49 am (UTC)
ext_3294: Tux (Default)
From: [identity profile] technoshaman.livejournal.com
Sometimes you fall in love
not with the actual person
but with an imaginary ideal,
a better version of them
that exists only in your mind.


Been there, done that. Several times. Finally got clue-batted, thanks Be.

By all that's holy, 1.7 miles works *so* much better than 4700. Then we discovered that 1.7 *feet* is actually our preferred distance... :)

Four months on Tuesday. *burble*

They *can* work; a once-friend and her sweetie made it work three timezones apart for nine years before she screwed her courage to the sticking-point and moved 3000 miles to be with her... and after five years of together they were happily married... just about the time my (hopefully last) LDR fell apart. But hard doesn't begin to describe it, for me...

I can only imagine trying to do it at parsecs....

Thoughts

Date: 2014-02-10 05:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com
>> Been there, done that. Several times. Finally got clue-batted, thanks Be. <<

Not fun.

>> By all that's holy, 1.7 miles works *so* much better than 4700. Then we discovered that 1.7 *feet* is actually our preferred distance... :) <<

Yea, verily!

>> Four months on Tuesday. *burble* <<

Congratulations.

>> They *can* work; a once-friend and her sweetie made it work three timezones apart for nine years before she screwed her courage to the sticking-point and moved 3000 miles to be with her... and after five years of together they were happily married... just about the time my (hopefully last) LDR fell apart. But hard doesn't begin to describe it, for me... <<

I've known a number of folks with LDR experience, including myself.

>> I can only imagine trying to do it at parsecs.... <<

Yeah, that would suck. A defining feature of the Lacuna is how widely scattered people really are. Most relationships are ciphernet ones because people live in ones and twos, rarely more, spread out across a vast amount of space. It's hard for them to get together. Later on they may build places that will sustain larger groups.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-02-10 06:15 am (UTC)
ext_12246: (Default)
From: [identity profile] thnidu.livejournal.com
it takes know-how
as well as want-to.


I like that. It took me a double-take and a reread to get what you were doing with that odd morphology.

Typo: There ^ subtler things, too,
^ are

Fixed!

Date: 2014-02-10 07:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com
>> it takes know-how
as well as want-to.


I like that. It took me a double-take and a reread to get what you were doing with that odd morphology. <<

Yay! I love playing with words, and it's more fun when people get it.

>> Typo: There ^ subtler things, too,
^ are <<

Got it.

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