ysabetwordsmith: (Schrodinger's Heroes)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This is part of my activity for Asexual Awareness Week. If you missed the beginning of this story, back up and read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

French Military Victories, Part 4

Pat: "Bailey doesn't appreciate you chucking your phone across the room whenever you get upset; it makes extra repair work for him. Is there a problem, Quinn?"

Quinn: "I hate that man. I really do. This is why I left St. Louis. Every time words come out of his mouth, I can feel my penis trying to murder my brain cells one at a time."

Pat: "Well, not everyone has the people skills to make polyamory work."

Quinn: "Jean-Claude seems to think everyone does, or at least, everyone in our line of vampires. I don't think he even knows anyone in an exclusive relationship in his entire territory."

Pat: "I'm sure there must be someone sensible in the St. Louis area."

Quinn: "No, really! Anyone who comes in monogamous -- or even monosexual -- seems to get driven away or sucked into the maelstrom of metaphysical sex and disaster. It's like a plague or something. And then nobody wants to talk about it, they just fight all the time."

Pat: "No wonder you moved way out here."

Quinn: "Yes. Can you imagine what Alex would do if we had a lover's spat in the middle of an invasion, right in front of the bad guys? Or worse -- what Ash would do!"

Pat: "I shudder to think."

Quinn: "It's hard to believe that Belle Morte's line can be so STUPID about love."

Pat: "Well, leave Jean-Claude's problems and misconceptions in Missouri. He's a bit clueless, is all. Just because your vampire powers deal with lust and sex doesn't mean you know anything about love, let alone advanced communication practices."

Quinn: "Mmm, I'd like to advance my communication with you." [Kisses Pat noisily.]

Pat: "Speaking of which, Toby complained about not being bitten recently, and that could cause some tension if we don't work it out."

Quinn: "Then let's go home early and take care of that. You know how important our family is to me."

Pat: "I know. I'll tell Alex."

Quinn: "What are you going to tell her?"

Pat: "That you just fended off an invasion of vampires and now we need some family time."

Quinn: "You know this sort of thing is why I love you, right?" [Kisses Pat again. Sound of door opening and closing.]

(no subject)

Date: 2011-10-30 06:29 am (UTC)
bethany_lauren: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bethany_lauren


(no subject)

Date: 2011-10-30 12:36 pm (UTC)
sylvaine: Dark-haired person with black eyes & white pupils. (Default)
From: [personal profile] sylvaine
"Every time words come out of his mouth, I can feel my penis trying to murder my brain cells one at a time."

Oh god, that is so hilarious. And the ending is utterly adorable. <3

(no subject)

Date: 2011-10-31 07:56 pm (UTC)
order_of_chaos: Eridan Ampora from Homestuck as a dreamsheep dreaming of dreamwidth.  Blue stripy body, purple head, yellow horns. (Default)
From: [personal profile] order_of_chaos
*cackles gleefully* Love this!

(no subject)

Date: 2011-10-30 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] westrider.livejournal.com
And it just keeps making me laugh!

This whole thing has been a very fun read. Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-27 03:51 am (UTC)
thnidu: my familiar. "Beanie Baby" -type dragon, red with white wings (Default)
From: [personal profile] thnidu
Hee hee hee.


ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)

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