This poem is spillover from the December 6, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from alatefeline
. It also fills the "Black Mollies" square in my 12-1-16 card
for the iPod Shuffle Music Fest Bingo. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Shiv
thread of the Polychrome Heroics
WARNING: This poem contains intense material that some readers may find unsettling. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. Shiv gets saddled with babysitting a toddler, which he is not prepared for and finds triggering. He actually can function while flashbacking, but it is not fun. The poem includes unwilling childcare duty, painfully inept attempts at babysitting, poor self-image, extreme anxiety causing significant physical symptoms, panic attacks, difficulty thinking, general freaking out, desperate begging for help from Dr. G, a lot of foul language only some of which is self-censored partway through, Shiv has no idea how to take care of a toddler, but he gets most of it surprisingly okay and there is no permanent damage, Shiv has utterly no grasp of how real sharing is supposed to work, boundary issues so many boundary issues, also some safety issues, lots of hints about Shiv's utterly horrible past, resistance to talking about anything remotely connected with sex, Shiv is terrified that he'll wind up abusing kids if he is around any, anxiety over making mistakes, abandonment issues, extreme potty panic due to Shiv's past sexual and other abuse, self-bullying, jealousy, age-switching, craft challenges, my supervillain has a pretty princess bathroom, half-sane half-scrambled gender issues, reference to outside teasing, inability to sit still, running on the stairs, Shiv's taste in cartoons is not entirely child-safe, children's songs are incredibly violent if you really listen to the lyrics, Buttons isn't sure whether to be grateful for the babysitting or pissed at Shiv's methods so she does both, which drives Shiv up a wall, clinginess, avoidance, clueless Shiv is clueless, aftermath anxiety, and other stress. This poem is likely to be uncomfortable for abuse survivors and possibly also parents. There is actually a lot of fluff, though, and aside from being a completely nerve-wracking experience for Shiv, it goes well enough that Jaxon likes him.
If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before deciding whether this is something you want to read. It's a point in Shiv's process of coping with his abusive past, so it's plot-relevant, but shouldn't leave an unavoidably huge hole in the main storyline if you skip it.( Read more... )