ysabetwordsmith: (Schrodinger's Heroes)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Here is the second part of "Verbs Not Nouns." This is fanfic for the apocryphal television show Schrodinger's Heroes. In this script, done as a podcast in the imaginary fandom, a hacker is whelmed by Ash's Navajo-inspired programming, to the amusement of our heroes...


"Verbs Not Nouns" (Part 2)

[Ash's office is now crowded with the entire team of Schrodinger's Heroes. Keys click as Ash types rapidly at her computer.]

Alex: "Did he just basically say 'verbs not nouns' there?"

Ash: "Yep."

Quinn: "We should totally sell tickets."

Alex: [Cracks up laughing.] "I hope you're recording this."

Ash: "That bank there saves our data." [Points to another console.] Our lawyer should have a field day."

Pat: "No doubt. I'll pass the word whenever you give me the recording."

Ash: "All right, folks, you heard it -- we've got company outside. Kay, Chris, go give them a warm welcome."

Kay: "We'll button them up for you. Any idea how long until you call the police?"

Ash: "A while yet, I think. Jinx isn't a total waste of silicon. He actually found a pinhole for me to patch so he couldn't get through it. I'm almost impressed, so I think I'll let him poke around a while longer and see if he finds anything else."

* * *

[Lefty is still in the auxiliary computer room, alone now. His laptop is smoking faintly and emitting an intermittent crackling noise. The main computer has started talking back to him in a prim tone.]

Lefty: "Aw, crap, no don't restart -- Crap."

Computer: "Command unclarified. Repeat."

Lefty: "Go screw yourself."

Computer: "Command unclarified."

Lefty: "When I get my hands on the sorry bastard who built you, I'm going to take him apart joint by joint! This system makes no sense. It can't possibly work."

Computer: "Programmer description mistaken."

Lefty: [Clang as he kicks the console base.] Ow, crap, my foot!"

* * *

[Ash's office still holds the whole team except for Kay and Chris who are guarding the prisoners. Ash finishes typing something and leans back.]

Alex: "How long do you think it will take him to realize that we've captured all his buddies and they aren't coming back for him?" [Reaches forward to knead Ash's shoulders.]

Ash: "I don't know, but this last bit of coding should keep him busy for at least twenty minutes. He'll never get through all my firewalls anyhow." [Groans happily.] Oh yeah, keep rubbing right there. You have the best hands, Alex."

Quinn: [Munches popcorn and talks with his mouth full.] This is more fun than watching Schrodinger play with scorpions."

Ash: "Why thank you, Quinn! Now quit hogging the popcorn."

* * * * *

In case you missed it, you can double back to "Verbs Not Nouns (Part 1)" here.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-05-15 09:54 pm (UTC)
order_of_chaos: Eridan Ampora from Homestuck as a dreamsheep dreaming of dreamwidth.  Blue stripy body, purple head, yellow horns. (Default)
From: [personal profile] order_of_chaos
Continued vast amusement! *grins*

The fun is in the details-

Date: 2014-04-13 09:04 pm (UTC)
dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
From: [personal profile] dialecticdreamer
>>Lefty: "When I get my hands on the sorry bastard who built you, I'm going to take him apart joint by joint! This system makes no sense. It can't possibly work."

Computer: "Programmer description mistaken."<<

Exactly WHY doesn't the programmer description match? HMM? It MAY imply an awful lot of sentience behind that coding, or it MAY simply be that the programmer designation is "Name", and the hacker's descriptions didn't match.

Me, I'm voting for the former. It makes it easier to believe that an N-dimensional tesseract COULD be traced or analysed or contained.

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