ysabetwordsmith: (Schrodinger's Heroes)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
I'm posting this in two parts because Dreamwidth's cut feature doesn't work for me. This is fanfic for the apocryphal television show Schrodinger's Heroes. It's good practice for scriptwriting, something I haven't done much with previously. In this script, done as a podcast in the imaginary fandom, a hacker is trying to break through Ash's Navajo-inspired computer programs to let more bad guys into the compound...


Verbs Not Nouns


[In the Teferact compound, Alex and Ash are in Ash's office, both leaning over Ash's computer.]

Alex: "I saw the alert come up in the control room. Ash, what's going on?"

Ash: "Someone's trying to hack us again, Alex."

Alex: "That happens all the time, right? You told us not to worry about it?"

Ash: "Right, but ..." [Highlights a section of text onscreen.] "... this section here suggests that it's coming from inside the compound."

Alex: "I'm going to kill Midge."

Ash: "I don't think it's Midge. She's a great forger but not so much of a hacker. She can barely pop the locks on our doors. This is a little more sophisticated."

Alex: "Should I worry?"

Ash: [Cackles.] "No, I just thought you should be informed, in case you want to watch."

Alex: "This ought to be fun. I'll let everyone know."

[Alex leaves the office, door clicking shut behind her. Two sets of footsteps sound as she heads down the hall, passing Morgan.]

Morgan: "Alex, howzit?"

Alex: "Hi, Morgan.  Ash says someone's trying to hack us, from inside the compound."

Morgan: "I'll ask Pat to put on some popcorn."

* * *
[Two men have opened a console in an auxiliary computer room and patched a laptop into the wiring. They hunch over the equipment, arguing.]

Lefty: "Hurry up, Jinx!"

Jinx: "I am hurrying, Lefty. This system is insane, that's all."

Lefty: "You've said that five times now. It's a computer. You're a hacker. How hard can it be?"

Jinx: "It's not that simple."

Lefty: "I'm paying you to make it simple."

Jinx: "For chrissakes, Lefty, I can't even read most of this code! Part of it is in normal computer languages -- two different ones, by the way -- but the rest is some gibberish I've never seen before."

Lefty: "It's code. Just crack it."

Jinx: "Listen, you mouth-breathing moron, it's not even in binary! There are three different symbols."

Lefty: "So what?"

Jinx: [Growls in frustration.] So that means somebody probably wrote it from scratch instead of copying stuff like a normal programmer. I can make out a few things from where it interfaces with the languages I actually know --"

Lefty: "So hack in from there."

Jinx: "I can't because it won't interface with my system! As far as I can tell, there aren't even any objects -- it's all commands and processes."

Lefty: "Fine, whatever, I'm going to go check on our boys at the back door. Just get the damn security offline; we only have about an hour left."

* * *

1. The title is a phrase from asexual slang.  Ash is ace.  Ash is also part Navajo.  The Navajo language happens to consist mostly or entirely of verbs, depending which description you read.  I couldn't resist.

2. Morgan is Hawaiian.  Howzit  means "What's up?" in Hawaiian pidgin.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-05-15 04:29 am (UTC)
order_of_chaos: Eridan Ampora from Homestuck as a dreamsheep dreaming of dreamwidth.  Blue stripy body, purple head, yellow horns. (Default)
From: [personal profile] order_of_chaos
*cackles* Oh, that's hilarious - I love it! Fried rice instead of popcorn on this side of the reality/unreality divide, but the extreme amusement's the same.

Re: Thank you!

Date: 2011-05-15 05:08 am (UTC)
order_of_chaos: Eridan Ampora from Homestuck as a dreamsheep dreaming of dreamwidth.  Blue stripy body, purple head, yellow horns. (Default)
From: [personal profile] order_of_chaos
Thinking about that, I suspect Morgan's recent ancestors must lead/have lead fairly interesting lives themselves, even without a tesseract.

I'm from New Zealand with mostly Scottish descent, thus defying food-stereotypes - my other favourites are curry and chocolate.

Some of the alters are bound to be Asian, at least. If you wanted to, you could roll new races for allll the alters :D

(no subject)

Date: 2011-05-19 10:10 pm (UTC)
brushwolf: Icon created by ScaperDeage on DeviantArt (Default)
From: [personal profile] brushwolf
mostly or entirely of verbs

Wait, that's not my impression of dine bizaad at all, where'd you find that?

Re: Hmm...

Date: 2011-06-01 03:57 pm (UTC)
brushwolf: Icon created by ScaperDeage on DeviantArt (Default)
From: [personal profile] brushwolf
Not that much. I'm still trying to pick up dine bizaad, here and there, since it seems like a really logical little language, for being so adaptive, y'know? I have this bad feeling I oversimplified the way verb stems get modified as being just like English or Russian, so I'm probably quite wrong actually.

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