ysabetwordsmith: (Schrodinger's Heroes)
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The unaired episodes were produced but not broadcast during the first brief run of the apocryphal television show Schrodinger's Heroes. Disputes over rights and other issues kept these out of the initial pressing of the home-viewable material. Someone in the production crew released them into the wild as bootlegs; much recrimination ensued, but it has never been proved who did it. Fans copied and shared them avidly. This eventually inspired the studio to produce a boxed set for sale, so as to get a piece of the action. The aired episodes essentially introduced the team and the Teferact. The unaired episodes expanded on that with character development, relationships, and extrapolating both the properties of the Tef and the nature of other dimensions.


Unaired Episodes

"Why Pat's Not at Work" -- A stalker follows core!Pat home from the andervector where he wound up in "Landing the Eagle." This episode takes place almost entirely outside of the compound, as the chase rambles through nearby Waxahachie, Texas and the surrounding countryside. A series of violent encounters brings the introduction of Chris, an ordinary bystander who jumps in to save Pat's life. After they finally make it back to the compound, the rest of the team is relieved to see Pat safe and grateful to Chris for his help. The stalker, already badly wounded by Chris, is finally shot dead by Kay.

At one point, Chris and Pat are caught in the countryside after dark. They huddle close to their tiny fire and talk about love, detailing their own orientations and expectations. Chris sings the song "Scarborough Fair" -- and it's the duet version in which the woman poses her own set of tasks for the man. They get into a discussion about commitment; Chris doesn't think that Pat (being poly) is really serious. Pat: "I am  serious about commitment. I'm so  serious about it that I've committed to more than one spouse." This episode initiates a friendship that, while sometimes rocky and slow to develop, becomes quite deep by the end of the first season. The close timing with "Landing the Eagle" puts this episode in early June. Quinn and Morgan don't appear in this episode.

"Snips and Snails" -- A sexchange episode, the plot involves the first example of the Teferact importing traits from other dimensions and imposing those on the Core personalities. Morgan mentions being firmly monosexual and vanilla, but doesn't specify which mono; the male version of Morgan proves wildly popular with fans. Male!Morgan and male!Kay are overheard talking about playing with their new equipment. Female!Chris makes a pass at female!Bailey, wanting to see how two women do it. Female!Bailey can't keep her eyes off of male!Morgan. Male!Ash walks in on female!Quinn and female!Pat making out in a spare room, and mutters, "Now I need to reformat my eyeballs." Male!Alex is the only person who doesn't really respond to the change, too busy trying to undo it so everyone can return to their Core sex. Quinn helps the other characters cope with the changes; his label-free identity proves a real asset here.

Begins with Chris' birthday (on July 4) when the team gives him an "elemental BeEr" shirt; it's both a gentle tease and a gesture of welcome, and he wears it as a sign of his acceptance. This is the second appearance of Chris. This show marks the first appearance of Kay in casual clothing, with a t-shirt saying, "No user-serviceable parts inside." Quinn is wearing a t-shirt with (ctrl) (alt) (insert) while Alex is wearing one that says "I'm with genius" and an upward arrow. Ash's says, "I am   the IT guy." Morgan's says, "I'm only here until I reach escape velocity." Bailey's says, "When in doubt, try another hole" (with graphic of computer ports). Pat's says, "Social engineer."

"A Can of Worms" -- Alex and Ash test the scope of the Teferact, trying to measure how far away from the eigenspace of their own dimension it can reach. Things come through, but not in a controlled fashion. An early scene shows Schrodinger with a tiny wriggling wad of tentacles in his mouth: Alex: "Good Schrodinger! You're such a good mouser!" Bailey: "Um, Alex, that's not a mouse."

Alex goes into the middle of the Ring to investigate, with Kay as backup. Then a large amount of debris appears, along with Tim the Tentacle Monster. Schrodinger glides untouched through the mess. Tim, being a decent person, pries the loose rubble off of Alex and carries her to safety. Unfortunately what Kay sees is a Thing with a limp, bloody Alex clenched in writhing tentacles. Kay nearly shoots Tim, but hesitates because he's carrying Alex and dropping her would be bad. Tim carefully lays Alex down in front of Kay and backs away. (Alex spends the middle third of the episode out cold with a concussion.) Still it takes a long time for Kay to trust Tim, and Bailey is suspicious at first also. Morgan and Ash believe that Tim's behavior is both rational and moral; they work to convince everyone else and to connect with Tim. But no one is able to relocate Tim's home and send him back.

Major appearance of Morgan for alien communication. She is wearing a t-shirt that reads, "As a matter of fact, I am  a rocket scientist." Introduces Tim the Tentacle Monster. His name is actually a lot longer, but most of the humans can only pronounce the first syllable. Ash gets farther, and is determined to master the whole thing. Tim finds this endearing. He is forlorn and lonely because he can't go home, though. Ash and Morgan are the first people who really reach out to him, although Alex is grateful to him for saving her. Tim has multiple brains and is extremely intelligent, making it possible for him to learn English rather fast. Quinn does not appear in this episode; Morgan mentions that he is on a date with a nice transwoman.

"A Door in the Wind" -- Alex and Ash design a portable terminal for the Teferact, which Bailey and Ash build. This greatly expands the characters' mobility; it is inspired by events from "Landing the Eagle" in which the dimension-shifting effects extended from the center of the Tef into the actual Ring. Alex has started studying Dinè to see if Ash is right about how convenient it is for discussing quantum physics; Alex's pronunciation is atrocious but she grasps the grammar faster and better than most outsiders do. Quinn enthusiastically volunteers to test the new portable terminal. Its performance is variable.

Second appearance of Midge, who steals the portable interface and must be rescued from the unfortunate results. Male version of Morgan gets added to cast, with the explanation that core!Morgan died in a car accident so Alex searched through neighboring dimensions until she found a Morgan who wanted to join their team (due to an unspecified but horrific breakup). Bailey and Quinn can't keep their eyes off of male!Morgan. Bailey also appears in a t-shirt that says, "I void warranties." This episode seriously showcases his hardware skills, including several revisions of the prototype for the portable terminal. A reference to Labor Day places this episode in early September.

"Or Not To Be" -- The episode opens with a (real) coyote eating a dead road runner, and the first characters appearing in a scene are actually the alternates, not the Core team. It features a dimension where Alex never existed. Back in the Core eigenspace, Alex and Ash determine that the Teferact has locked onto that alternate dimension. Alex has to travel there to break the connection. No one there recognizes or appreciates her, a very alienating experience all around.

Most fans hate  this episode, which isn't among the best-written to begin with and includes several events that draw much fan protest both in the core team and the Alex-less team. One of those is a minor case of sexual harassment (with Quinn pestering Ash for a date) in the core timeline that gets blown into a major case (with grabbing and groping) in the alternate timeline. Also, the opening sequence is intended as a geek joke to show that something is not right with the world, but few people find it funny. Morgan does not appear in this episode. Bailey appears in a t-shirt that says, "I'm here because you broke something."

"Is There an Echo in Here? Echo in Here?" -- Further searching for Tim's home dimension (or at least an acceptable analogue) results in a doppleganger episode. Something causes extra versions of the characters to appear. Most of them are the real characters from other dimensions. However, the problem is caused by one doppleganger who can mimic anyone it touches, and is bringing in the others for camouflage. One dramatic scene involves dopple!Alex trying to murder Bailey. It turns out that Tim can distinguish the doppleganger by taste, but only on contact. While awkward and embarrassing, this does ultimately help with bonding Tim into the team. The doppleganger is eventually identified and retreats back through the Tef, unfortunately destroying all the day's data accrued while searching for Tim's home. Alex and Bailey figure out how to return the alter characters to their home dimensions -- and it's a bit tricky doing that without accidentally banishing male!Morgan in the process.

Every version of Quinn appears with different hair and clothes. Once his t-shirt says, "The sun is trying to kill me." One version of Ash has a t-shirt that says, "Homeland Security: Fighting Terrorism Since 1492" (with the photo of Geronimo & company). Core!Quinn has black hair gelled into medium spikes, tipped with silver glitter. Glimpses of female!Morgan appear, cleverly spliced in from previous episodes. The other characters find this poignant and upsetting; it's an early clue that something bizarre is happening. Four Alexes are found all talking quantum mechanics together. Two Ashes are seen coming out of a room together, their arms casually around each other's waists. The episode kind of leaves the characters wondering who they "really" are. This was the Halloween episode.

"Last Woman Standing" -- An Amazon dimension with warlike women attempts to invade the Core dimension. Efforts to communicate are hampered by the absence of Pat, who does not appear in this episode due to marrying a new person into his polyfamily. Bailey and Kay lead the fight against the invaders. Bailey has to fight off several women who, in the fashion of invaders everywhere, decide to have a little fun on the side. Midge, present in an attempt to get an honest interview with Alex, proves an unlikely but useful ally. She is not only good at street-fighting, she's also adept at sabotage. It's the first time Kay looks at her with any respect at all. Chris makes a valiant stand fighting the Amazons and brings down many of them; but he winds up seriously wounded because they resent a man standing up to them. In one scene, Quinn appears en femme so as to get the drop on the invaders, a tactic that works beautifully. During one big firefight, Alex and Tim get pinned down in a small room; they barricade the door and cuddle for comfort. Once Alex gets cut off from the team, Morgan and Ash have to finish figuring out how to lock out the Amazon dimension so they can't send anyone else through the Tef. The heterosexual invaders are all killed; the only survivor is a lesbian, Dusty, who is found barely alive under a pile of bodies. She is content to stay in the Core dimension. One of the most vivid scenes is a slow-motion view of the epic firefight, with Schrodinger a dark shadow slipping through the white smoke; as Dusty falls to the floor, he walks over her body just before more people land on top of her. Kay shines in both of her capacities, first destroying many of the invaders and later saving Dusty's life when she is found injured. There is also a phone call between Kay and Jayden, the military not being pleased about the invasion and Pat being absent.

Introduces Dusty. This episode leaves the characters with a lot of emotional baggage. Tim is upset that the Amazons viewed him as a monster; he's not fond of violence. Quinn helps Bailey deal with the aftermath of attempted rape. Quinn, Ash, and Kay all try to help Dusty cope with getting stranded. Midge does an emergency rush-job of forging a driver's license and health insurance card for Dusty so that she can be packed into an ambulance without getting hassled to death by the authorities. Midge is wearing a t-shirt with the Bill of Rights stamped "Void Where Prohibited." Plus the compound gets shot up and left full of corpses, never a good thing. A mention that Kay is just back from celebrating Veterans' Day with her army buddies places this episode in mid-November. When she first appears, Kay is wearing a t-shirt with crosshairs and the caption, "I see dead people."

* * * 

See also "The Television Show (Part 1)" for descriptions of the aired episodes of the apocryphal series Schrodinger's Heroes.

re: "Snips and Snails"

Date: 2011-11-10 08:38 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] natasiakith
Quinns' shirt saying is missing

Re: Fixed!

Date: 2012-12-18 01:32 am (UTC)
thnidu: Red pen. Text: The red penis the editor's friend; editing mark "insert space" in "penis". from lj:stormsdotter (editor's friend)
From: [personal profile] thnidu
You can put real angle brackets into journal text in two three three-and-a-half ways, listed in what I consider ascending order of difficulty:

1. Type them into the Visual Editor pane rather than the HTML Editor.

2. Enter the corresponding entity names, abbreviations for "less than" and "greater than", like this (without the spaces)
ampersand  l t semicolon (that is)  &lt; →  <
ampersand g t semicolon (that is) &gt; →  >

3a. Enter their hexadecimal values in this format (case doesn't matter):
ampersand pound-sign x 3 C (that is) &#x3C; →  <
ampersand pound-sign x 3 E (that is) &#x3E; →  >

3b. ... or their decimal values, similar format but without the "x":
ampersand pound-sign 6 0 (that is) &#60; →  <
ampersand pound-sign 6 2 (that is) &#62; →  >
Edited Date: 2012-12-18 01:35 am (UTC)

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