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[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
While writing Polychrome Heroics, I've noticed that the commercials in Terramagne-America are often more entertaining than the shows are in local-America. So I've started writing them down. Since I can't actually do video clips or even slideshows, I have instead pasted suitable images into the text. Also worth noting: this concept is replicable with local resources.


"Good Feelings Exercise Program Commercial"


Everyone knows that exercise is good for you,
but not everyone finds that exercise feels good.

Does exercise feel like a waste of your time?
Do you spend the entire session thinking
that you should be working instead?

If you're nodding, then Good Feelings
is the exercise program for you!

Most exercise is only designed
to burn calories and build bodies.
At Good Feelings, we believe that
exercise should accomplish something!

So we put together a program where
you exercise your body, mind, and spirit
while doing something productive for
people who need a helping hand.

Dog walking = light lower-body workout
+ moderate animal interaction workout

Leaf raking = light upper-body workout

Shopping = light whole-body workout
+ light social interaction

Gutter cleaning = light lower-body workout
+ moderate upper-body workout
+ light to moderate height tolerance workout

Housework = light to moderate whole-body workout
+ moderate socializing workout

Gardening = moderate whole-body workout
+ heavy nature interaction workout

Taking kids to park = moderate whole-body workout
+ heavy social skills and interaction workout

Snow shoveling = heavy upper-body workout

Chopping and carrying wood = heavy upper-body workout
+ moderate lower-body workout
+ renewable energy support

Furniture moving = heavy full-body workout

Great Dane walking = Oh dear Lord I'm gonna die!

Good Feelings is an exercise program that
takes care of your body, mind, and spirit.
It helps you feel better by helping people,
so it doesn't seem like a waste of your time
the way other exercises often do.

Mobility limits? Social issues?
No transportation? No problem!

Exceptional capacity?
We've got your back!

Talk with our personal trainers
about designing a program that works
for the body and life you have.

Good Feelings: the whole-body workout
for people who want to feel whole.

* * *

Notes:

Exercise includes pretty much anything that gets people moving. It has many benefits, and just as many reasons why people don't do it. Chief among these is feeling that exercise is a waste of time. Conversely, helping others creates a sense of meaning. Here are some ideas for getting more exercise through everyday activities and helping other people.

Components of exercise should span a range of intensity levels. Incorporating exercise into everyday life helps extend healthy lifespan.

Physical disabilities can make exercise more challenging. There are some exercise programs designed to counteract this such as the martial art Criptaedo. Mental disabilities also create barriers that require creativity to overcome. Here are some more ideas for exercising with disabilities.

Body, mind, and spirit are three aspects of the person in holistic practice. Follow the tips to balance these aspects.

Great Danes are gigantic dogs with enormous energy. This means they need a lot of vigorous exercise. Consequently some folks use a bicycle leash to get the dog up to a decent speed. Another method is to have several people stand far apart and throw a frisbee, or run, to encourage the dog to join the chase around the ring of people.

A personal trainer can help someone develop an exercise plan that suits their goals and abilities. Understand how to get the most out of your personal trainer.

Feeling whole is an important part of life satisfaction. Self-love is one way to work toward feeling whole.

I love it!

Date: 2017-05-10 07:27 am (UTC)
kengr: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kengr
The Great Dane walking reminded me of The Ugly Dachshund and of the time back in junior high when I was walking home and saw that people were moving into a house. I heard a sound behind me and turned to find myself looking their dog (some sort of Afghan) in the eye. while the dog had all four feet on the ground.

I've seen smaller ponies!

Re: I love it!

Date: 2017-05-10 09:21 am (UTC)
kengr: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kengr
My mom had a friend who raised Chows. We had always had one as far back as I can remember.

My kid brother (six years younger) used to get upset when the one we had at the time would greet him.

Y'see, the usual greeting was to run up to you, put his paws on your shoulders/chest, and start licking you.

James was short and light enough at the time that this meant the dog would knock him over, so he was on his back with the dog standing over him and slobbering all over his face. :-)

The one we had when I was that age was a lot calmer. He didn't mind when the cat climbed up on him because he was a warm place to sleep. Better yet, sometimes he'd get up and walk around and the cat wouldn't bother getting off. Just ride around looking self important.


Oh dear. Now I'm picturing some animal soups doing that. Or a soup and a 'nary.

Re: I love it!

Date: 2017-05-10 11:37 am (UTC)
kengr: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kengr
>>>James was short and light enough at the time that this meant the dog would knock him over, so he was on his back with the dog standing over him and slobbering all over his face. :-) <<

That could be overwhelming.<<<

Well, his attitude was more "[splutter]Get *off* you big lummox!"

The same dog would bark up a storm at a stranger. Once he was barking at a friend of mine while we were standing next to the fence between the front and back yards.

Dog was about a dozen feet away. I finally persuaded my friend to climb over the fence with me. at which point the dog backed off another dozen feet.

My friend took *one* step step away from the fence and the dog ran away around the corner of the house.

He was a big coward, but that made him a great watchdog.

Oh yeah, the cat who rode around on the dog? he lived into his 20s and was mostly an outdoor cat. He was allowed into the house, but he spent most of his time outdoors. Fortunately, since our house was at the top of a long, fairly steep slope (the edge of a 500 foot tall sandbar from the Missoula Floods at the end of the last ice age) you could wander several miles without having to cross a street.

He *did* cross streets but was smart enough to avoid traffic. He'd sometimes disappear for days at a time and we knew of at least three other places that would feed him if he showed up.

Managing to live as long as he did was quite an accomplishment.

Re: I love it!

Date: 2017-05-10 12:27 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
I'ma need to prompt for that! Oh yes...

Re: Turq/cat interactions. :d

-Fallon~
Edited (addition for clarification) Date: 2017-05-10 12:29 pm (UTC)

Re: I love it!

Date: 2017-05-10 12:26 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
If my!Jay were more comfortable with strange kids, he'd do that-as it is, his daughter'll sometimes do that with him. Though she's getting to big now. She's two, and he's ,kinda small for his species-Del, while bigger isn't willing because the wait pressing on him feels too much like a closed in space and he doesn't like it so much.

But there are some who get paid to give rides to kids at carnivals, so long as the kids respect the boundaries and are well behaved-there are rules.

Unfortunately, his world is becomingincreasingly...paranoid that shifters will revert to their animal-like instincts due to political climate things-and so it's a bit harder to find that this time around. :( )Their president is Pence. I don't know which is worse Our!Trump, or their!Pence. Seriously. I might go with the latter though Their!Pence knows how to use reason and logic to get his point across, Trump is just...stupidly ... I dunno, stupid. :(

(I don't talk about that aspect of his world much-it's still hard for me to wrap my mind around that-so much.)

-Fallon~

Re: I love it!

Date: 2017-05-10 06:18 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
Crayon soups. o.o I'd forgotten a little about them. I'd like to see that thread once it gets going. :)

Thankfully it hasn't gotten as bad as 'we put in concentration camps', but it's gotten to the point where some of the people in their version of the Top dawg Entertainment crew has had to step in (Anthony and Jay in particular )Along with Del, who isn't 'technically' part of the crew, but is a close damn friend of a lot of them) to make sure some of the kids from a nasty situation are well taken care of because the hospital they're in won't care for them properly and shit.

I've had to step in a bit myself with documentation writing and lecturing those who apparently don't understand that life is more important than what someone's race or species is. :/

A lot of that is...done on the other level though because I'm still having a hard time in here with wrapping my mind around how much of assholes so many people can be. :(

-Fallon~

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-10 12:17 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
I think hiking would fit well into that type of program too-Especially if there is someone )Ahem, like us) who is totally blind and still wants to go, and no one will take them because they're concerned with them falling or breaking themselves.

(I didn't have that problem, but I know some who probably would.)

This is a really cool commercial .:)

-Fallon and Jay~

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-10 12:46 pm (UTC)
kengr: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kengr
I've got a blind friend (she can read *really* large print if it's like an inch from her nose) who would love to ride a bicycle built for two with someone.

Exercise, fresh air, and maybe some "freaking the mundanes"

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-10 12:57 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
Tandem biking is fun! Holy wow. Unfortunately I no longer have A) a bike, and B) anyone to ride it with. I'd have the room to store it because garage, but I'd have no one to ride it with.

But we did that as a family when I was growing up, and there are so many memories of that. :)

That, and fishing and camping...

-Fallon~

Re: Hmm...

Date: 2017-05-10 06:22 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
Those are actually good ideas. :) I'd actually had someone ask if I could store his boat in the winter for a certain amount per month-but haven't had him take me up on that yet as he'd already found a place before he'd thought about asking me.

I'd also have to find placesw for fishing/camping around here, those are places I hadn't looked up yet because I hadn't the need-there are bike trails just about in every park around these parts, though. :)

-Fallon~

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-10 08:09 pm (UTC)
mirrorofsmoke: The words "We are Groot" and a picture of Baby Groot on an icon with a swirly galaxy background. (Default)
From: [personal profile] mirrorofsmoke
Freaking the mundanes, freaking the mundanes, You'll come a-freaking the mundanes with meeee! :P

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-11 05:05 am (UTC)
kengr: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kengr
I hight Eirikr inn kengr. I date back to AS IX though I haven't been active in many years. I was one of the founders of the local branches.

"Alas, my lady, you've done me dirt,
you've sewn green sleeves on my purple shirt..."

Re: Thoughts

Date: 2017-05-10 06:31 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
Yeah it is. I didn't have that issue as far as infantilization goes, but there were some others that were...just stupid, especially as an adult, and theystill leave impacts on me to this day.

I've tried echolocation on my own somewhat, and I can't do it. Probably because I'm not doing it right-and I'm not sure I'd want to learn the skill anyway. I'm already self-conscious enough using my cane and being invisible, that clicking would probably make it even more...interesting for me that way.

That said, I'm glad it's there for those who can use it-we're not going to knock it just because it's not for us

-Fallon~

Re: Thoughts

Date: 2017-05-10 06:46 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
I can still do that somewhat-especially with walls. I used to be better at it. Coffee tables still freaking bite me though. :(

Do you find it harder to do with glass? Because we do. It's like...not there. Unless it has some sort of frame (Patio dors, for instance) or...sometimes plate glass. But most of the time it's like "Nope, not there, try again."

I haven't tried it with clapping, but the tongue clicking doesn't seem to work so well for us, either.

-Fallon~

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-10 06:30 pm (UTC)
redsixwing: Red-winged angel staring at a distant star. (Default)
From: [personal profile] redsixwing
Ooh! Shiny and replicable. :D

Re crayon horses: What about Judd's upcoming ... I keep wanting to type daughter here, so gonna go for it.. by the police mare?

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-10 08:05 pm (UTC)
mirrorofsmoke: The words "We are Groot" and a picture of Baby Groot on an icon with a swirly galaxy background. (Default)
From: [personal profile] mirrorofsmoke
Ahahaha "Great Dane walking = Oh lord I'm gonna die!"

Our family's larger dog isn't a Great Dane, but we still feel that way every time we walk her because she's like sixty-five pounds, and doesn't know how to heel. If she gets excited or scared, she'll take off running, pulling our nearly three hundred pounds with her. It's so much fun!

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