Hard Things

May. 3rd, 2017 05:21 am
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Life is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.

What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do?

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-03 10:44 am (UTC)
beasts_of_homeworld: Deep in an ancient forest where green moss covers all, little glowing balls of coloured light float about in the mist. (Any - Forest)
From: [personal profile] beasts_of_homeworld
struggling to navigate a difficult and emotional situation complicated by society's ableism and recent bereavement.

so far, we've managed not to push our needs into someone else's life decision, but it's very tough when you're going to be losing something that humans need and abled people have and you can't have without someone else's help.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-03 03:29 pm (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
Kudos to you for keeping going and being considerate—and fuck ableism, seriously, ugh. Hope you find an alternate route to getting the thing in a timely fashion.

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Date: 2017-05-03 04:47 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
Good job.

I be a tiger shifter-don't offer this much, if ya need a ccuddle, let me know. Jus...be careful comin' up in mah face I tend to get a little growly-comin up from the side's best 'cause behind's a little tricky, too. Trauma responses fuckin' suck.

Also, mind if we add ya'll? Was gunna ask for the other journal ya had (Unless ya renamed it to this) caus ya'll seem really damn cool. :d

-Jay~

PS: might add ya from mah own space too, so ya'll know. He.

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Re: Thoughts

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Re: Alas!

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(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-03 10:31 pm (UTC)
mirrorofsmoke: Text icon: I can't believe we're still protesting this shit. (Default)
From: [personal profile] mirrorofsmoke
*Quietly comes in to offer hugs*

That is heart-breakingly hard. I give all my support.

-Spring

ETA: Here. Just have a whole pile of animatronic critters of all shapes, some humans, some other folks, a bunch of werewolves. Just have cuddles from the whole damn system. <3
Edited Date: 2017-05-03 10:36 pm (UTC)

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Re: You're welcome!

From: [personal profile] beasts_of_homeworld - Date: 2017-05-07 10:36 pm (UTC) - Expand

Re: You're welcome!

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Date: 2017-05-04 12:02 am (UTC)
gingicat: drawing of me based on wedding photo (Default)
From: [personal profile] gingicat
That sounds miserable. My sympathies.

Do you want help researching what resources exist?

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Date: 2017-05-03 03:27 pm (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
#survive

Things that are a lot harder than they sound: not totally losing your shit at people committing small annoyances (or, for that matter, major insults that are nonetheless not deserving of the offender having your shit totally lost at them) when you're two and a half weeks into an acute and constant dialed-up-to-11 version of your usual chronic pain.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-03 04:35 pm (UTC)
beasts_of_homeworld: Deep in an ancient forest where green moss covers all, little glowing balls of coloured light float about in the mist. (Any - Forest)
From: [personal profile] beasts_of_homeworld
#survivors

You Are Awesome. seriously, you're doing an amazing damn job, right there. high pain times make everything so much harder, especially not losing your shit at people. whether the people you're doing it for know it or not, you're a pretty badass fucking hero in our book.

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Date: 2017-05-03 04:44 pm (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
Kudos to ya for that. Seriously.

I been around someone whit chronic pain to know well enough how much fuckin' energy that's gotta take.

I'da probably lost it a damn long time ago were I where ya at now.

Or at least been less...subtle about copin'. Ain't subtle when ya audibly takin' deep breaths to not lose ya shit when it ain't necessary.

Ya awesome for this. :d

-Jay~ (Almost used mah own journal, but.)

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Re: Thoughts

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(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-03 10:38 pm (UTC)
mirrorofsmoke: Text icon: I can't believe we're still protesting this shit. (Default)
From: [personal profile] mirrorofsmoke
I can totally understand feeling like losing your shit at people. It's hard to not, sometimes.

Good for you for managing that, and I hope the pain levels go down soon.

*Hugs or whatever gesture of comfort you'd be okay with. I also offer to let you pet, if you happen to be the type who likes furry creatures.*

-Spring

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Date: 2017-05-04 12:05 am (UTC)
gingicat: drawing of me based on wedding photo (Default)
From: [personal profile] gingicat
Wishing you a return to "normal" pain levels soon, and lots and lots of cope.

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Date: 2017-05-03 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] readera
Hard things from this week include:
. Adapting to a new Dept at work & a new work schedule
. Dad's sudden heart Heath issues. He was admitted to the hospital yesterday. No heart attack but they are going to do bypass surgery in a week or so
.continuing stress from mine & partner's under treated mental health issues.
.seasonal allergies and annoying weather messing with my sinuses.

Huh, that's more then I thought. Well, that explains why I am so tired and short tempered.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-03 05:34 pm (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai

That is a lot to deal with! Kudos for dealing with it, and luck with getting rest and keeping from losing your temper!

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Re: Alas!

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(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-03 10:39 pm (UTC)
mirrorofsmoke: Text icon: I can't believe we're still protesting this shit. (Default)
From: [personal profile] mirrorofsmoke
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I'll keep him in my thoughts and send positive energy his way if you'd like.

Adapting to work is usually hard, and that and the undertreated mental health issues are the last thing you need on top of the situation with your dad.

I hope things get better for you soon.
-Spring

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Date: 2017-05-04 12:07 am (UTC)
gingicat: drawing of me based on wedding photo (Default)
From: [personal profile] gingicat
Best wishes on all of this, and easy surgery and recovery wishes to your dad.

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Date: 2017-05-07 02:45 am (UTC)
callibr8: icon courtesy of Wyld_Dandelyon (Default)
From: [personal profile] callibr8
That's a lot, and a nasty confluence of both acute and chronic stressors!

*hugs offered*

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Date: 2017-05-03 08:15 pm (UTC)
technoshaman: Tux (Default)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
Actually *dealing* with losing the constant presence of my local `ohana. Dragging the shadow out and naming it and letting the tears do as they will.

Dealing with being *back* in their presence for a day, and managing to come up with the idea to save the day.

On bike, in the dark and the rain. Not emotionally hard per se, but you try an unlit two-lane road with oncoming traffic with a rain-spattered visor and windshield without losing your shit... (Note to self: take the LONG WAY home after dark, it's got STREETLIGHTS!)

Re: Aww ...

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(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-03 08:36 pm (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
*offers tissues?*

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Date: 2017-05-03 10:42 pm (UTC)
mirrorofsmoke: Text icon: I can't believe we're still protesting this shit. (Default)
From: [personal profile] mirrorofsmoke
Losing your local ohana is hard. Also, really super glad to know we're not the only people who use that word. It makes us super happy.

Holy crap. You are a bike-riding genius if you could navigate that kind of treachery.

*Hugs or whatever gesture of comfort you're okay with*

-Spring

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Re: Well...

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In which no plan lasts more than 90 minutes

Date: 2017-05-04 04:36 am (UTC)
mama_kestrel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mama_kestrel
Kind of a cascade...

Last Friday we went down to see my mother in law. She's been very lonely since my father-in-law died, arrangements had been made to move her to Tuscon near her younger daughter and brother the following Wednesday, and we wanted to see her before that. Lots of factors, it was complicated, but that's the outline.

Just before we planned to leave we got a message from older sister-in-law. Their mom was having trouble breathing and in great pain. I looked at my husband and told him to go, right then; not to wait for our son to finish class. I'd wait, pick our boy up 45 minutes later, and we'd be right behind.

Again, complications ensued (my mother in velcro mode, basically), but we got there. Mother in law was screaming in pain despite morphine. My husband was sitting across the room looking helpless. I'm an empath and healer; that was not something I could allow to go on. Took off glasses and rings as my son asked what I was going to do. Response: "I'm going to be what I am." (Son didn't get it. Husband did.)

And so I sat down beside this woman whom I love as much as my own mother and respect far more, took her hand, and escorted her to the boundary of the Summerland. (I apparently spooked the nurse's aide.) It took about 5 minutes for MiL to be calm, no longer afraid or in pain. Another half hour, holding her hand and singing quietly, and she slipped through that Door. All Gods bless the friends whom we woke at midnight, who let us stay the weekend when there wasn't a hotel room to be had for 50 miles around.

The cascade effects...my son has withdrawn from all his classes for his second semester of college. He was already trying to get a handle on depression, and losing both the grandparents who have been pillars of stability throughout his life in the space of 60 days was more than he could handle. We'll try again in the fall, with a half-time course load. I'll be working on making sure he understands that he is not a failure; that everyone has a breaking point and that strength sometimes lies in knowing when to take a step back and try again later.

And for myself...I heard myself when I said I was going to be what I am, and it brought home to me how seldom I actually do that. So the hard thing I need to do is to figure out how I can, indeed, be "what I am" in the 21st century, when very little of it tangible or quantifiable.
Edited (ETA: Sorry so merciless long.) Date: 2017-05-04 04:38 am (UTC)

Re: In which no plan lasts more than 90 minutes

Date: 2017-05-04 04:42 am (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai

May her memory be a blessing to you and all who loved her.

Best wishes for your son's future college success and for your working out how to...hm how to say this...mesh who and what you are with where, when, and with whom you are.

Re: In which no plan lasts more than 90 minutes

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Re: In which no plan lasts more than 90 minutes

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(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-04 10:18 am (UTC)
gingicat: drawing of me based on wedding photo (Default)
From: [personal profile] gingicat
The hardest thing to *recover* from this week was helping my therapist's husband. (Therapist=E, husband=M. E has been my therapist since February 2005.)

M had emergency retina-reattachment surgery about a week ago, and they picked up a Windows 10 tablet so he could look at something while head-down. E called me the night before my scheduled appointment with her and asked me to set it up before/after said appointment.

It was exhausting. M, who is quite computer-savvy, knew exactly what he wanted, which was a full-featured computer that could lie flat and connect to the files on his main home office computer. Windows 10 Home was reluctant to let me find Workgroup settings. And E was absolutely terrified that M would overdo and lose his eyesight.

Usually if I go all the way to E's home near Horseneck Beach (as opposed to her home in Cambridge), I take 30-45 minutes to walk on the beach, even in nasty weather, and it was NICE weather this past Saturday, and I didn't have time.

After they got back to Cambridge, M emailed me to ask if I could help with issues connecting to his home network in that house, and I declined due to home chaos, offering to contact a friend who is better at computers and had had similar surgery a few years ago. He found the answer himself.

Next appointment with E will be in Cambridge and we'll go walking together in Radcliffe Quad.

Dammit. I needed grounding this week more than anything.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-05-07 02:13 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] readera
That stinks, that you didn't get what you needed out. I hope that next time it will be better, and you can get what you need soon.

(no subject)

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*sigh*

Date: 2017-05-05 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
having trouble figuring out how to bring up certain facts and feelings about an interpersonal wounding to someone in my family that I'm pretty sure they think is resolved but isn't....

still battling depression....

still LOOKING FOR A FLIPPING JOB GAAHHHHHHH!

but I haven't cut yet (my nailbeds are shredded past the quick and look like hell, but I haven't cut yet)

someone decided to pull out the "Why aren't you dating yet?" line of questioning...because I'm not stressed out enough as it is. (I'm the age where most of my friends and acquaintances are dating, marrying, and procreating while I have not yet had ONE significant other, nor had any intimate physical contact...which apparently makes me insane and means that I'm going to "die alone and bitter") I will do everyone a service by not ranting about how much the entire topic is a giant ball of nope because it makes everyone uncomfortable when I do that. Suffice it to say I wanted to bash my face into the wall.

Re: *sigh*

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Re: *sigh*

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Re: *sigh*

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Re: *sigh*

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Re: *sigh*

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